Wednesday 18 June, 2003 at 1:50PM (Nereus)  ::  permalink  ::  comments (1)

This is classic. I stumbled into a weblog via MT that posted the details of this strange phenomenon catching Manhattan unawares. Much of the following uses exerpts from that weblog. It's farking funny.

What's happening is that a number of New Yorkers are using email to coordinate 'inexplicable mobs' - huge crowds that materialize in public places and suddenly dissipate 10 minutes later for no apparent reason. Here's an excerpt from the email that went out to organize one yesterday:

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Mon, 16 Jun 2003 15:56:33 -0000

MOB #1 made National Public Radio! Go to thenextbigthing.org and scroll down to the last clip.

You are invited to take part in MOB, the project that creates an inexplicable mob of people in New York City for ten minutes or less. Please forward this to other people you know who might like to join. At the very least, please forward this to all those to whom you sent the invitation for MOB #1, because someone seems to have gotten the wrong impression about the MOB. I am thinking, in particular, of whoever saw it necessary to tell the store and/or the police department about MOB #1, causing SIX POLICE OFFICERS AND A PADDYWAGON to be sent out to disrupt it. Let us call this person "Squealy."

SQUEALY FAQ (all others may skip to INSTRUCTIONS - MOB #2)

Q: I am uncomfortable with innocent fun.
A: It seems apparent.
Q: Couldn't the MOB have gotten out of hand?
A: No. I assure you: the MOB will always be respectful, no matter how large it gets, or what it might chant, etc.
Q: Despite this honest assurance, my stifling fear of the unknown dictates that I squeal again.
A: Unfortunately, I have been forced to take this possibility into account in the instructions for MOB #2.

INSTRUCTIONS - MOB #2

Location: ??????? to be advised
Start time: Tuesday, June 17th, 7:27 pm
Duration: 10 minutes

(1) At some point during the day on June 17th, synchronize your watch to http://www.time.gov/timezone.cgi?Eastern/d/-5/java/jaVa. (If that site doesn't work for you, try http://www.time.gov/timezone.cgi?Eastern/d/-5).

(2) By 7 PM, based on the month of your birth, please situate yourselves in the bars below. Buy a drink and act casual. NOTE: if you are attending the MOB with friends, you may all meet in the same bar, so long as at least one of you has the correct birth month for that bar.

• January, February, March: Blarney Rock, 137 West 33rd St (between 6th and 7th Aves). Meet to the left of the jukebox.
• April, May, June: Holiday Inn, 49 West 32nd St (just east of Broadway). Walk into the hotel lobby and make a left into the hotel bar; meet around the bar to the right, near the framed prints of the elephant and the leopard.
• July, August, September: Blarney Stone (not to be confused with Blarney Rock), 106 West 32nd St (between 6th and 7th Aves). Meet in the back by the jukebox.
• October, November, December: Jack Demsey's, 36 West 33rd St (between Broadway and 5th Ave). Meet downstairs, near the bar behind the pool table.

(3) Then or soon thereafter, a MOB representative will appear in the bar, wearing one of the "trucker hats" that is so stylish these days. He or she will pass around slips of paper, on which three important pieces of information will be printed:

• (a) the MOB site,
• (b) a particular item at the site, and
• (c) a secret phrase.

Commit all three to memory and put the slip in your pocket. ONCE YOU ARE AT THE MOB SITE, NONE OF THESE SLIPS OF PAPER SHOULD BE VISIBLE.

(4) Leave the bar and walk to the MOB site as quickly as possible. It will take you longer to get there than you think. If you arrive near the final MOB destination before 7:27, stall nearby. NO ONE SHOULD ARRIVE AT THE FINAL MOB DESTINATION UNTIL 7:26.

(5) Find the item and stand around it. Unlike in MOB#1, where the participants were not to acknowledge one another, here you should greet even those you do not know. Talk among yourselves about the item and its relative merits and demerits. Only if you are blocked from seeing the item should you stray to examine other merchandise at the site.

(6) If you are approached by a salesperson, explain that everyone present lives together, in a huge converted warehouse in Long Island City, and that you are there looking for a "[secret phrase]." Explain that you make all purchases as a group.

(7) At 7:37 you should disperse. Thank the salespeople for their help, but explain that the item has been "voted down." NO ONE SHOULD REMAIN AT THE MOB SITE AFTER 7:39.

(8) Return to what you would otherwise have been doing. Await instructions for MOB #3.

SPECIAL NOTE: A few people may be allowed to learn the three secret facts in advance. Those interested should write an essay of precisely 50 words on the subject of "Why I Am Not a Squealer," and send it to themobproject@yahoo.com.

Ok, so yesterday it happened. The place was Manhattan Macy's rug department. The above e-mail coordinated a huge, instant gathering of people around a particular rug. Participants were instructed to tell questioning salesmen that they all lived together in a Long Island warehouse, and they were considering purchasing the item for use as a 'Love Rug' back at the house. After precisely ten minutes the crowd mysteriously dissipated.

Damn that's funny. Unfortunately this 'phenomenon' has since been repeated over and over again around the world, with official flashmob websites and organizing parties formed, which they don't actually realize completely defeats the purpose - it's kind of like hearing the same old stale joke for the 100th time in a row... *sigh* ..I guess some people just don't get it.

the bronx zoo

      Tuesday 17 June, 2003 at 2:36PM (Nereus)  ::  permalink  ::  comments (1)

The Bronx Zoo ..and I'm not just talking about the borough of Bronx in general. We finally made it to the Bronx Zoo last Sunday, which just happened to be the first fine weekend in about 8 weeks as far as the weather goes, and it was also Fathers Day. We were obviously not the only ones who thought the zoo would be a good place to visit on this day, far from it in fact.

IceQueen and I went with her parents, the Cat and the Lemur. A two hour trip via the subway found us at the zoo in the early afternoon (NYC is a big place). There was a queue at the entrance, and it was rather long. It was in the open under the hot sun so it was fortunate that the weather wasn't too hot, although it was hot enough to give IceQueen a light sunburn. About an hour or so later we actually got inside the zoo, so to speak.

Wow the place was packed. Even after being in NYC as long as I have now, the sheer amount of people continues to have me shaking my head in amazement. We didn't have enough time to see half of the residents, although we did make it into the Congo Gorilla Forest which was groovy. The gorillas are big silverbacks - one male, a bunch of females and quite a few cute little youngsters rolling around. They've got a pretty good setup there for the gorillas with a good amount of space and privacy if that's what they want. One of the females was a bit of an exhibitionist though, standing up a few feet in front of everyone and posing several times, even doing profile shots. Kinda funny. The male was sitting a little way away around the corner just watching, you could plainly see the intelligence in his eyes. He looked incredibly strong - I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end if he was pissed about something.

We checked out the Kodiak and Grizzly bears, formidible beasts in their own right, although the polar bears at the Central Park zoo appear to be a lot bigger. We had lunch at a cafe inside the zoo and spent a fair amount of time walking from one enclosure to the next. Strangely enough, we probably spent a substantial part of our time there watching the squirrels and chipmunks that aren't actually part of the zoo but just run around wild picking up scraps of food people leave behind. They're cute in their own squirrelly chipmunkish way.

We eventually headed back home pretty tired from the walking combined with the heat. As far as first impressions go, the Bronx Zoo didn't really do a lot for me as far as what my expectations were, but I think that's only because of the crowds. Next time we'll go on a week day when it's not so busy.

It was a pretty good weekend altogether despite the crowds, things are so much better when you're enjoying them with a weasel *grin*. Not much else to tell right now. The water is off for the day at our apartment while they do some maintenance on the pipes ..not very exciting is it? Oh, I've added a page for RSS feeds. I only have CNN World News headlines available from there right now, it's just something I'm playing with, I may add more feeds later. Thanks to Antone for the help (he wrote the CaRP RSSparser available at mouken.com).

bruce almighty

      Monday 16 June, 2003 at 12:34AM (Nereus)  ::  permalink  ::  comments (2)

Sunday was a really nice day - sunny and hot with a very light breeze, just enough to keep you from undergoing instantaneous human combustion. We're talking about mid 80's°F most of the day (just under 30°C) which is getting near the upper limits of my tolerance levels. Actually I'm exaggerating, it really was nice and not too much for me at all - the light breeze made the difference for sure. I'll lose the plot when the real heatwaves hit - usually into the triple digits (pushing over 40°C) and 100% humidity, so humid that your sweat can't evaporate to cool your body down and the only thing to do is run to the nearest shower / swimming pool and remain there until winter.

So, as I was saying, Sunday was a nice day. Actually, I'll tell you about Saturday night and Bruce Almighty first. Actually, I'll go have a smoke first. Back soonish.

..laterish rather than soonish..

Right. Saturday evening we decided to take in a movie. The intention was to see the animated movie 'Finding Nemo'. After a bit of fluffing about we hopped on the bus to Kings Plaza (a great big shopping mall and theatre complex in Brooklyn). The movie was due to start at 8pm, and we were running on time with maybe 10 or 15 minutes to spare when we arrived at the plaza. Unfortunately we spent a good 10 minutes sitting on the bus while it attempted to get across the busy 6 lane road (3 lanes each side) to let us off at the plaza. Yes there are traffic lights, which were seemingly ignored by the cross-traffic, or else the path across was blocked by idiots who would rather sit halfway across the intersection at a red light than wait where they were supposed to. One in particular was driving a late-model silver BMW - seemingly oblivious to the red light it chose to drive right in the path of the bus as it found a gap in the cross traffic. Farking nimrod.

So we got into the plaza eventually and people (many parents with children) were being turned away as 'Finding Nero' had sold out. Hrm. Ok, the next movie that was showing in any of their eight theatres was 'Bruce Almighty' at 9.30pm. We decided to buy the tickets and do a bit of shopping in the meantime. IceQueen went into Macys and found a nice shirt for her Dad (Fathers Day on Sunday) while I cruised around and bought EA's F1 2002 formula one racing game for dirt cheap. They have a computer games shop there that sells second hand games for PC, Xbox, Nintendo, Playstation etc, although the games are still sealed in their original wrapping and for all intensive purposes appear brand spanking new, the only difference being the price. Just over $10 for the game which would usually retail for about $70. Kewl.

So 9.30pm rolled around pretty quick and in we went armed with popcorn and drink. Not the best movie we've ever seen. Jim Carrey is, well, Jim Carrey. In other words he was the same as he always is. Pretty funny but it's starting to wear a little thin imho. Jennifer Aniston played the part of his girlfriend. Not bad but the character wasn't overly developed, presumably to make Jim shine that much brighter. Morgan Freeman played the part of God and played it well. I really enjoy his acting - he was awesome in Shawshank Redemption - he carries a certain amount of credibility that is hard to beat regardless of what role he is playing.

The fact that a three year old sitting right in front of us started bawling for a good five minutes before her mother finally took her outside did not help. This was followed by a new-born baby letting loose minutes later two rows further in front, and then a guy directly behind us taking calls on his cellphone not long after that. I'm guessing the majority of the kids in the theatre were ones that didn't manage to get a ticket for 'Finding Nero' before it sold out. There were some genuinely funny moments during the movie, but there were also others that were just plain overdone and infantile rather than funny. I'd tell you more but it would give away the plot, which was pretty thin. It was good to be out doing something anyway.

Woah this is turning into a long post and I haven't even begun to tell you about the Bronx Zoo yet. Maybe I'll hold off on that for now and fill you in tomorrow so you don't suffer Urban Scrawl overdose. In fact that's what I will do. Goodnight.

women are clever - don't mess with them

      Sunday 15 June, 2003 at 2:04AM (Nereus)  ::  permalink  ::  comments (2)

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog trapped under a fallen branch. The frog said to her, "If you release me, I will grant you 3 wishes."
The woman freed the frog.
The frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish, your husband will get 10 times more or better."
The woman said, "That would be okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, and women will flock to him."
The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me"
So, KAZAM! She's the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That will be okay because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM! She's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish.
She answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Thanks Barbs for emailing me that story - awesome!

In other news, IceQueen and I went to see Bruce Almighty a few hours ago - I'll write more about it later, right now I'm going to bed as we're off to the Bronx Zoo in the morning (weather permitting). Memorable quote from the movie : "Behind every successful man is a woman rolling her eyes."

nyc mayor bloomberg goes off the deep end

      Saturday 14 June, 2003 at 12:47AM (Nereus)  ::  permalink  ::  comments (6)  ::  trackbacks (1)

I posted a few days ago about some of the ludicrous ticketing laws being enforced in NYC recently. Well there's been a few new ones added apparently. Check this out.

Cellphones. You are not allowed to use a cellphone in any public building or facility. This means all shops, subways, above ground train stations, shopping malls, supermarkets, post offices, gas stations, the lot. This is enforced with an instant $50 minimum fine, even if someone calls you. This is, excuse my language, fucking ridiculous. This will impact millions of business people, not to mention those in emergency situations. It's only a matter of time until someone has a heart attack in a shop and the person who uses their cellphone to call emergency services will get a fine for doing so. This is a blatant infringement on the basic constitution of the right to free speech. I mean c'mon, get fucking real Bloomberg! It's ok to stand in a mall and yell out religious crap and tell everyone they're going to hell, but God forbid if you should use your cellphone? What a frigging tosser.

But wait, there's more.

If you happen to doze off while traveling on the subway, guess what? Bang! Instant $50 fine. What the fark? Every day that I've caught the subway during peak hours, there are at least a handful of people in my immediate vicinity that will have their eyes closed and are nodding off, and that's mornings as well as evenings. How the hell do they legitimize making a law like that? Tell you what, if they're going to try to impose a law like that, then they should supply entertainment to keep people awake, and free coffee. It's pretty damn hard to stay awake on those trains under normal circumstances, let alone if you're tired.

But wait, there's still more.

No standing anywhere in Manhattan. This does not mean on foot. If you park outside a shop to load your shopping in, bang, $50 instant fine. If you're moving house and park out the front of your apartment building to load some furniture etc into your vehicle, bang, instant $50 fine. How obtuse.

But wait, there's still more.

No walking, standing or sitting on the grass in Central Park except in the few designated areas. Pardon me, but I thought Central Park was there for that reason? Hell, why not just bulldoze it and put up a parking lot in that case. Here's where it gets really stupid. Apparently this law also applies to pigeons. Yes, you heard correctly - pigeons. The City apparently contracts a company to control the pigeon population as well as keep them off certain areas (presumably some statues and monuments). Well this company has apparently been fined by the City because pigeons were walking on the grass in a designated no-walking standing or sitting area (which is most of the park it would seem). This is really scraping the bottom of the barrel and amounts to little more than extortion.

Unbelievable. It seems more and more apparent that this billionaire Mayor has been living too long in his rich world and has completely lost touch with reality. This information comes via The Cat (IceQueen's mother) and from various media sources. Bloomberg - pull yer farking head in!

friday the 13th - why the aversion?

      Friday 13 June, 2003 at 1:48PM (Nereus)  ::  permalink  ::  comments (1)

I began to wonder how this whole unlucky 13 superstition started, particularly when it's in conjunction with a Friday. The Friday the 13th movie series certainly contributed in recent years, but what about before that? I decided to have a sift around the net and see what I could find.

The answer, as with so many superstitions, appears to be biblical. Thirteen people were at the last supper - Jesus and 12 apostles. As they sat and ate, Jesus said something like "One of you which eateth with me shall betray me.", therefore twisting into the belief that 13 is an 'evil' number. But wait! It does not necessarily end there. Here's an excerpt written in 1925 by Charles Platt:

The rise of the compound Three-Ten for Thirteen is so very general all over the world, that it seems clear that to the primitive mind of early Man it had no real meaning--he stopped at Twelve. So persistent are these old instincts that, even today, we stop at 'Twelve Times Twelve' in our school multiplication tables, though there is absolutely no reason whatsoever why we should do so, except for our inherited instinct that it was, and therefore still must be, the utmost limit of mathematical thought.

Thirteen, therefore was not used as number, but as a vague word meaning anything beyond Twelve. To the untutored savage, as to the animal mind of today, anything unknown conveyed an immediate sense of danger. Thirteen was not really an unlucky number, but a fateful one--a number full of vague and unimaginable possibilities and therefore a number to be avoided by any peace-loving man.

Hmm ok, so what about Friday? Again it appeared to be for religious reasons, notoriously unlucky largely by association with Good Friday, the day of crucifixion. This trick of attributing to Friday all the disasters that have ever befallen Mankind is a very general one - in addition to Eve's 'indiscretion' in Eden, Friday is also supposed to have seen the murder of Abel, the stoning of Stephen, the Massacre of the Innocents by Herod, the flight of the children of Israel through the Red Sea, the Deluge, the Confusion of Tongues at the Tower of Babel and others, right up to William Tell and the other Apple.

So there ya have it, or at least some possibilities. If you have some other theory, write it down in the comments

patience is a virtue, so I'm told

      Tuesday 10 June, 2003 at 1:26PM (Nereus)  ::  permalink  ::  comments (7)

Had a fun time yesterday attempting to get the forms to apply to go to university here in NYC. It's seemingly next to impossible in the current economic climate to get a decent job here without a degree, so get a degree is what I will do. It has amazed me while looking for work here how many of even the most basic jobs request that applicants have a college degree. The funny thing is, many of them don't seem to give a toss what the degree is majoring in, just so long as the applicant has one - apparently they prefer an unrelated degree to actual job-related experience. I fail to see any logic in that whatsoever, providing your job history shows you don't flit from job to job every couple of months. Regardless, 'when in Rome, do as the Romans do' as the saying goes, so getting a degree under my belt certainly wont hurt.

I'm looking at the Brooklyn University Special Baccalaureate Degree Program for Adults, because it will apparently give me a certain amount of credits for relevant life (job) experience, which would save both money and time.

I rang the adult degree program people yesterday and eventually got to speak to someone who said I'd need to apply to the Brooklyn Uni for admission first, and then I could apply for the adult degree program. No worries. I called Brooklyn Uni admissions office. Eventually someone there told me I'd need to apply through the UAPC first (University Application Processing Center), then apply to Brooklyn Uni, then the adult degree program. I raised an eyebrow.

After a certain amount of dialing and redialing, I eventually got to speak to the correct (maybe) person at UAPC. Guess what? They advised me I have to apply to the CUNY Office of Admissions first to evaluate my NZ education (CUNY = City Universities of New York), then the UAPC, then Brooklyn Uni admissions, then the adult degree program people. Each step would take several months to process (sometimes longer apparently), and I could not apply for the next 'stage' in this chain until I'd had approval from the previous one. I kid you not.

Only two days ago I posted an entry about the excessive amount of bureaucratic red tape involved in achieving anything here. Ironic huh.

Ok, next mission is to call the CUNY Office of Admissions. I call. I press the appropriate numbers to navigate their internal phone directory to speak to the correct person. I'm now on hold. 10 minutes later a voice informs me the lines are still busy and I'm being disconnected. beep beep beep beep. Nice one. Did they really have to make me wait 10 minutes before telling me they were too busy to answer?

I call again. Same thing happens after about 10 minutes. And again. Ok fine, I can be persistent - pissing me off is not going to stop me. I call yet again. This time I'm not disconnected after 10 minutes. After 30 minutes I'm still on hold listening to some solo flamenco guitar that isn't too bad, I've heard much worse stuff while on hold ..it reminds me of an old flatmate back in NZ called Geoff who used to play flamenco guitar quite well, he had a rottweiller named Braten that was a real hard case, but that's a story for another time. An hour has elapsed, I'm still on hold. The guitarist must be getting sore fingers by now. I start wondering if holding the phone between my head and shoulder for so long will cause permanent disfigurement. I doubt it.

One hour and 30 minutes later the phone rings. It rings once. It clicks. Silence. I wait. More silence. I know I haven't been disconnected because it's not beeping. Maybe the guitarist has just had enough? I obstinately continue to wait ..and wait.

Two hours after initiating the call, someone picks up the phone, waits a few seconds and then says hello, sounding somewhat surprised when I reply. As I explain the situation they give absolutely zero feedback. I begin to wonder if maybe a cleaner has picked up the phone in passing, meaning to make a call out but found me sitting on the other end rather than a dial tone. After some rather blunt prompting by me, they start to give some responses. Ok, it's not a cleaner. Yay for me. Maybe they were just in temporary shock that someone remained on hold for so long (assuming they have a display on the phone itself that tells them how long I've been patiently sitting there).

They need to send out forms (what a surprise). Can I download them online? Nope, because they send out a booklet with the forms. Uh-huh. I consider inquiring whether they realize that I could download the booklet off the net too, but bite my tongue rather than make a smart-ass comment that could result in me starting back where I was 2 hours ago. They inform me they will need to evaluate all my NZ education documents. Kewl, I've already paid to have that done! Oh I see ..they won't accept that evaluation, they have to do it themselves, and I have to pay again for the privilege ..yes, now I understand why they have to do it again themselves. hrmm. The evaluation I have was done at the request of the US government when I applied for jobs with them, but I bite my tongue again rather than argue the point. I've worked for the US government - I already know that trying to argue about inane policies with blatantly obvious logic is about as rewarding as attempting to have a game of chess with a cabbage.

End result - the forms are in the mail. Where have I heard that line before? Doesn't exactly inspire confidence. Time will tell.

ny state comes down hard on its citizens

      Sunday 8 June, 2003 at 4:06PM (Nereus)  ::  permalink  ::  comments (2)  ::  trackbacks (1)

Saw an article yesterday in the Miami Herald (linked from dailyrotten) about the NYPD and the apparent ticketing extremes they've been going to lately to generate some money. New York state is supposedly in the crap financially in a big way, so I'm guessing Mayor Michael Bloomberg has told the NYPD to go hard. In the last few weeks certain police are said to have, among other things, nabbed an 86-year-old man for unlawfully feeding pigeons, a teenager relaxing on a street corner for 'unauthorized use of a milk crate,' and a handful of small stores for having too many words printed on their awnings. Seriously. How messed up is that?

The new no-smoking laws in NYC (which includes bars and clubs as well as restaurants) has reportedly caused a near 50% decline in business for most NYC bars and clubs. I'm starting to wonder wtf is going on here, I mean, isn't this meant to be the land of the free? Yet you cant feed pigeons, sit on a friggin' milk crate, have too many words on a sign if you own a business.. I can understand no smoking in restaurants, but come on. Before it became law many bar and club owners were on the news saying it would kill their business, and Mayor Bloomberg was saying no, no it wont effect it in any way. How obtuse, any idiot would know it would have an effect. I wonder if these businesses can sue the state for it? There's probably a law saying they can't, this being the land of *cough* freedom and equality and justice for all.

Seems my attitude about the US is not so hot lately ..actually the attitude is towards aome of the idiot politicians rather than the US itself. Man, the amount of red tape and waste here is unbelievable in govt departments. Oh, remember about a year ago I sat two exams - one for the NYPD, and one for the MTA? I just got my results for the MTA exam - 95%. Can you believe it took a year for the govt just to grade an exam? Sooo efficient. LOL.

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